The Month of Queen Mia

1 Aug

The other day I decided August would be The Month of Queen Mia. Where I declare my sovereignty and My Own Personal Dammit List.  If you’re interested in what I mean by sovereignty, take a look at Havi Brooks’ marvelous site The Fluent Self: http://www.fluentself.com/blog/stuckification/some-things-i-have-learned-about-sovereignty/

I have taken a concept that’s along the same lines (perhaps) and adapted it to where I’m at now.  The concept comes from Havi Brooks (yet again) and can be found at http://www.fluentself.com/blog/biggification/taking-a-stand/.  That’s right, I’m a Havi Brooks tragic!

The Dammit List is something you have where you assert your rights – your Manifesto – and it’s all for you and all about you.  Anything you want can be on your dammit list.  Mine right now is just my lists of attributes, and I’m going through the process of making sure I believe them all.  But you can have things on your list – like Havi does – that say things you will and won’t do.  Havi doesn’t do emails.  So, that’s on her list.

What I’ve done is to take my list of attributes and make them into “Dammit statements.”  Then, what I’m doing is seeing that all of them ring true for me.  The one’s that don’t, where there’s some cognitive dissonance, those are the ones that need work.  Ok, Big Step One, I’ve identified them.  I don’t have to do anything about them Right Now.  What I’m doing right now is celebrating the ones I do know.

I am bright, dammit.

I am a high achiever, dammit.

I am bright, dammit.

I am devoted, dammit.

I am organized, dammit.

I am cooperative, dammit.

I am experienced, dammit.

I am a capable worker, dammit.

I am full of potential, dammit.

I am fair, dammit.

I am honest, dammit.

I am ethical, dammit.

I have a desire to heal, dammit.

I have a desire to teach, dammit.

I have a desire to develop, dammit.

I have a desire to nurture others, dammit.

I am non-confrontational, dammit.

I am loyal, dammit.

I am helpful, dammit.

I am social, dammit.

I am warm, dammit.

I am gracious, dammit.

I am creative, dammit.

I have diverse interests and talents, dammit.

I am energetic, dammit.

I am fast-paced, dammit.

I am new to the workplace, dammit.

I am a woman, dammit.

I am American and Australian, dammit.

This list – and it daunts me! – is what I will tell myself every morning and every night.  A musician friend of mine told me recently she said this to herself in the mirror every day until she believed it: “I have the right to take up musical space.”   And this is much the same.

These are the jewels in my crown.  I’m a bit crafty so I might even make myself a crown, or a necklace, or something to represent these for me.  And wear it everyday this month – and who knows, maybe forever.  I don’t have to show anybody this crown.

But what is vitally important is that I believe these things.  And I don’t let other people make me think otherwise.  I can take their criticisms but I don’t have to take on their criticisms.  And I can believe in myself, possibly for the first time.

The Cognitive Dissonance list – needs work:

I am well-liked, dammit.

I am self-assured, dammit.

I am charming, dammit.

I am new to the workplace, dammit. – this is one of the things that won’t really come into practice until I, um, have a new job.  But it is something I can practice thinking, when I’m volunteering or studying, just to, you know, “get in the mood.”

I’ll post on this more, as the month of Mia goes on.

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